Here is the scenario:
Little Timmy asks you if he can have a cookie. You tell him no because dinner is soon or he just had 17 other cookies or some other legitimate reason. Timmy proceeds to escalate his request by screaming, crying or other things that might embarrass you in a public place. You now have two choices. The easy way is to just give him the cookie so that he stops the behavior. The more difficult decision is to remain firm in your no and deal with current bad behavior in another way (i.e. time-out, spanking, your preferred discipline method).
Think about the long term consequences of your decision here. If your child realizes that he or she can get what they want by screaming and crying, then they have no incentive to put forth the extra effort to act good and ask nicely. I personally would never be nice if I could just scream and get what I wanted. Being nice takes too much control. But by making the decision to not appease bad behavior by giving them what they want, you have shown them that the way to get what they want is to act good and ask nicely. Also by the final step of disciplining the tantrum, you have shown them that not only will they not get what they want by screaming, but that that kind of behavior produces the opposite of their desired outcome.
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